Hiding In Your Cupboard

Hiding In Your Cupboard
Banksy's desecration of the Palestinian wall

Thursday 29 March 2007

My food fantasy

I woke up this morning with drool caking the side of my face..attractive i know but its becoming a frequent occurence as I just cant stop dreaming about home food. I fantasise in my sleep about roast dinners, bacon butties, shepherds pie, decent Chinese takeaway and so on every night.

The food in India is massively varied in type and quality but you just cant get decent Western style food anywhere. Most restaurants in the places we have visited cater for a tourists with menus full of pizza, pasta and toasted sandwiches but more often that not its just not quite right. For example yesterday I ordered 'speketty with tuna, tomaytoo, origayno and garlic' sounds fine, except they obviously were all out of tuna so substituted it for something reminiscent of smoked haddock. Even the curry seems wrong, its nothing like it is at home. To get a curry that tastes 'curryish' you have to stress 'really really really spicy please'. Even then the waiter generally smirks at you as if he knows your only joking or your doing it for a bet.

It's possible to find authentic Indian food in dingy shack style cafes full of autorickshaw drivers holding hands over chicken biryani's (open affection between male friends is very common and totally acceptable but cracks me up when I see two macho moustachiod Indian men leering at me whilst gently caressing each others arms). The menu has 8-10 items on it at most and you have no idea what you have ordered until it is plonked infront of you about 30 seconds later. Although the place is grimy, the food has not been cooked fresh to order and asking for a fork or spoon is out of the question, its mostly very tasty and very spicy. However you have to put up with being stared at as if your an alien while you try to eat potato curry with your hands, and then worrying about seeing that potato curry again for a few hours afterwards.

So after another breakfast of chickpea curry this morning James and I started one of our (actually probably just 'my' but he's very patient with me) favourite conversations...what would you be eating if you were at home? - Easy- BLT's made with Sainsburys organic white loaf and loads of mayo for breakfast. Lunch - Sushi and sashimi with a glass of ice cold Sancerre. A mid afternoon snack of Marks and Spencers naughty Chocolate Bites. Dinner - difficult one but today it would have to be Rare as Fook fillet steak with peppercorn sauce, green beans sauteed with garlic and french fries, followed by apple pie with Hagen Daas praline flavour ice cream. (Im almost welling up writing this!)

Im becoming obsessed with food I cant have. When we meet new people I have noticed myself manouevering the conversation around to food and talking about it for far too long...I know James is getting a bit bored of the topic (strangly enough as anyone who knows James will agree, he seems content to eat curry twice a day maybe even thrice). So please indulge me and tell me what you had for tea last night. I've spent all morning imagining what you may have had:
Simon: M&S lasgne unless you were entertaining your new lady then it would have been Hawaian pasta?
Mum Phillips and Brain: chinese takeaway or deli leftovers?
Baby bear: pasta and Lloyd Grossman sauce.
Matt: you were a difficult one but James and I thought you would still be getting over the weekend and wouldnt being doing take away so lamb chops with mint sauce, lots of veg and a few Danone activia things.
Jen Cuz: Easy..thai!
Rowan: Pasta carbonara.
John Dico: meat and two veg a la Dad
Jemma and Ashley: James thinks noodles??

Am I right??
Anyway time for lunch now. Byeeeeeeee

Jayne

3 comments:

j said...

Just thought I would add a few things;

Matt: Would have bought a bottle of port for his gravy.

Pat: Would have spent twenty minutes smelling the fish at the local Sainsburys and then cooked it in a white sauce - all the time murmuring to himself "brilliant... the new Ramsay...".

Mum Murray: Will have boiled at least eighteen different vegetables (my parents house is the only remaining house in England that regularly eats Marrow) and then roasted a bit of pork. My dad will have had oven cooked dim sum from Marks.

Byeeee!

Jamesss

Rich said...

Hi you 2!
Hope you are both good and that your cravings for western food aren't too much 2 handle!
We seem to be having a smilar problm with the western food converstaion.
Rich's choice of food would be : Sainsbury's sausages (taste the diffrence) with sainsbury's farmhouse loaf, followed by Haribo Tangfastics.
Mine (Sho's)would be : Sainsbury's farmhouse loaf with really nice ham and Waitrose tomato chutney, followed by Galaxy chocolate.
Your blog really makes us chuckle!
We can't work out how to link it atm but we will do it!!! WE WILL!
Love Sho 'n' Rich (Dobber and Dicky)
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Mrs B said...

Here in Sydney we've had good old fish and chips from Doyle's on the jetty at Watson Bay for lunch.

Dinner is cheese and crackers with spicy red pepper and feta dip, followed by fresh mango, passion fruit and greek yoghurt.

Stop whinging like a pom about the local food, you old woman!!!!