Romeo And Juliet and Showgirls - every English rugby players favourite haunt

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It’s not every day the missus suggests ogling Oceania’s finest from a shadowy corner of Showgirls. But then again it’s not every day that I take her to the ballet. It seemed a fair exchange.

Strip clubs usually fill me with a clammy fear. As if my mother and a whole procession of former teachers will see me enter and reveal me to be drunken pervert.

Walking in with your girlfriend though alleviates that problem; suddenly having some platinum blonde’s derriere waft in front of my face is pretty cool. Hell, it may even be socially acceptable, it’s probably something I can mention to my grandmother at Christmas nowadays.

I am here for the dancing I remind myself. A purely cerebral affair I note, as a leering buffoon steps drunkenly on my foot.

The cheering, star-crossed, morons inside Showgirls resembled Shakespeare’s ‘groundlings’ (Elizabethan peasants in the cheap-seats who came for Shakespeare’s more comic moments), especially self-confessed regular, city boy Dave who urged the crowd to “big it up for Showgirls”.

It was quite a different crowd at the New Zealand Ballet’s production of Romeo and Juliet at the EDGE Theatre, though in some ways no more engaging. A well-spoken lady unfairly berated the usher for letting in a couple of latecomers during the opening fight scene. Really madam, was your view that impinged?

The first act was nearly as exciting as Oceania contender Nicki’s flaming shaving foam trick. A pint-sized Mercutio snaps, crackles and pops his way across the stage, an engaging mix of arrogance, coquetry and tragic fool. Romeo is a wistful, hormone-filled, flirt – primed to fall passionately in love with the first girl that grabs his attention.

Romeo and Juliet is about doom and pre-destined fate. Tracy Grant Lord’s set portrays this excellently. Dark greys and blood reds are lit by a portentous moon which looms like the sword of Damocles over the stage.

Meanwhile back at Showgirls, Kylie takes the stage. Her dance is a homage to Baywatch, complete with shower scene. Despite struggling with her life saving ring and banging into her surfboard she is so far the hot favourite for the opportunity to represent New Zealand in the finals in Australia.

And then there is a break. The showgirls break sees two of the clubs exotic dancers take the stage offering gartered legs to money waving blokes. Incidentally, my lemonade cost four bucks and my change came in the form of a dollar note only to be used for tipping strippers.

The interval at the Edge is a more sophisticated affair, if of course you like the theatre tradition of queuing fifteen minutes for a drink that you then have to consume in two minutes. I can’t stress my dislike of intervals enough – they break the magic.

A disgruntled boyfriend sneaks outside for a cigarette telling a mate on his cell phone that it’s “not his cup of tea.” A woman in the toilet queue complains that the beginning was too “fighty”.
There are several scenes that really work in this production of Romeo and Juliet. The ‘fight’ scenes are excellent as is the dance where Romeo first meets Juliet – the high point of Prokofiev’s foreboding score.

Mercutio is portrayed with just the right measures of loyal friend and pompous fool. His dancing duels with the bullying Tybalt are full of Baz Luhrmann and the fights of martial arts legends.
Other scenes are slightly awkward. When Romeo and Juliet are married in secret the priest joins in their dance in a disturbing triumvirate that just looks and feels plain wrong.

The tragic ending is rushed and consequently the pathos is not sufficiently eeked out. I want to be an emotional wreck at the end of Romeo and Juliet – instead I went to the supermarket.

There was no such problem with the ending of Showgirls. Malaina, who had rushed from a job as a naked human platter to be the night’s final contestant, paraded down the stage as a sexy secretary. She actually had a sense of eroticism and won hands down, or knickers down as they say round here.

Romeo and Juliet is about passion over-riding the brain and Miss Oceania is about lust doing the same thing – it really just depends which is your cup of tea.

Political Shennanigans etc

The news story I am waffling on about here can be seen by clicking on the title.

I am not sure whether it is reason to be happy or reason to be deeply depressed that we live in a world where a politician will appear as a breakdancing dwarf to curry favour.

Rodney Hide, the leader of ACT: a relatively small right of centre NZ political party, has apparently appeared on a celebrity "who can dance" style show. It clearly hadn't helped as he swivelled awkwardly, flapping his arms like a horny amphibian.

He danced with the social grace and timing of your mother-in-law at a wedding.

I'm genuinely torn. On the one hand it's good to see a politician actually involving himself with something. Better that than churning out politspeak at a rate of knots.

But on the other, the cause he was fighting for was just naff.

Hide was trying to make the point that education funding should go to the child rather than to schools. That way all our children can go to drama school and rehearse pantomimes while they dream of becoming the next Britney "too many beers' Spears.

Is this everyone's dream Hide.

I hope not.

Perhaps other politicians could take a leaf out of Hide's unorthodox book though...

Mugabe could promote his party by appearing in a stage version of the Last King Of Scotland

Gordon Brown could tour the UK in a campervan hoping nobody will notice he isn't at work.

John Key could do a sponsored stint in the history section at Auckland library

That Green party guy with dreads could (and perhaps should) have a televised haircut

Barack Obama and Hilary Clinton could see how much money they can possibly spend promoting themselves when they could have stayed at home farting into tea cups for free.

McCain could do a documentary on a chip factory.

Any other offers are welcome..

J

Auckland graffiti artists operate in legal grey area

Auckland graffiti artists are operating in a legal grey area as there is a lack of legal places to practice their craft.

“There are nowhere near enough!” said graffiti artist Pest5 of TMD crew.

TMD crew are one of Auckland’s most successful graffiti art groups. Artists come from as far away as Germany and members such as Askew have exhibited work in Europe, Australia and Japan.

“Usually a particular artist or artists will have acquired permission from the property owner,” said Pest5.

In Auckland legal street art is actually an oxymoron as there are no officially designated sites.

However, police in Wellington have taken a different approach to dealing with taggers.

Sara Tamati, aka Spexone, is a member of the Triple S crew in Wellington.

She said that the police there often refer young people, who have been caught tagging, to the Triple S crew to learn more about the writing culture.

In Auckland, suitable sites are few and far between and artists have to queue up to use them.

Pieces can only be painted over once they have been defaced by “a stupid young tagger”.

In other situations graffiti artists will use a site that has been tagged several times. A site is deemed safe to paint over once it has been covered in tags.

This practice is still technically illegal as permission has not been granted but police can turn a blind eye to graffiti artists when they are painting over a heavily tagged wall.

“It depends on the moods of the cops that day. If you’re doing a proper piece over existing graffiti they can see that you’re not causing any trouble and let you get on with it,” said Pest5.

Graffiti Enforcement Officer for Auckland City Police, Reginald Alofa, said that he was aware that “’proper graffiti artists’” were different to taggers.

“They see it as a real art form and that they do in fact commit quite a bit of resources into it in terms of their time, the purchases of paint and brush not to mention spray cans and all other neccessary 'tools of the trade'. They are quite passionate about it and seem to draw a lot of enjoyment from it,” he said.

He did not know of any cases where officers had been “blasé” towards people causing wilful damage though.

“It's always important to charge taggers (and I do) to send a clear message out to them that we do not tolerate wilful damage, in line with the Government's renewed commitment to combating graffiti,” he said.

Tamati does not believe that taggers should always be viewed negatively and said that the distinction between ‘real’ graffiti artists and taggers is often a misconception.

There is a hierarchy in the writing element and taggers are at the bottom of this, learning the basics.

“There is no school to go and do this, you start off as a tagger and try and enhance yourself,” she said.

Writing (graffiti) is an integral part of hip-hop culture, which also includes b-boying (breakdancing), djing and rapping.

“Within our writing culture we find young people with the potential to grow within the culture and mentor them in the process that we know.

“Most of the young people we work with end up doing some good work,” she said.

This attitude has proved successful for the Triple S Crew who between them run three successful businesses including Top Shelf Creative, a clothing and design venture.

The crew have also been commissioned by Save the Children to create murals which pass on knowledge in a way that is accessible and understood by young people.

The mural at Cannons Creek Primary School in Cannons Creek, Porirua reads “Passing on the Knowledge” and Tamati says it reflects the crew’s aims in “passing on our hip hop knowledge artistically through to young people”.

Creative New Zealand was unaware of any similar schemes in the Auckland area.